Yearly Reflections

Apart from mourning and lamenting the tragic death of David Bowie (two people in our home, who shall remain nameless, grieved this loss entirely too dramatically), 2016 has been a remarkable year for our family. Like most people, we encountered our share of change, success, loss, and struggle. There are always ebbs and flows to a year, and for me, my year ebbs and flows with the school season. Last winter brought stress and anxiety as finals closely followed the beginning of the year, and I killed myself grading and trying to give students more opportunities to show their ability. Finding the balance between being a good, dedicated teacher and being a loving, dedicated mom and wife is exhausting. I never feel like I'm devoting enough attention to either, and it pains me to know someone I love is being short-changed. My children will always be my priority, so when it comes to taking care of them when they're sick, or showing up at school events, I will always sacrifice school time. However, I feel called to teach and specifically called to teach where I do. How do I reconcile the time and effort it takes to do my job well with the time and effort it takes to nurture and teach my own children? This struggle tends to deplete me even more in the winter. January was also the time I set to losing the last 20 lbs of baby weight I had yet to lose (note to self: don't gain 45 lbs with the next pregnancy), so I was particularly exhausted. Corey bought me a workout mat, new tennis shoes (super nice ones from Kyle's Bikes), and body weights for Christmas. I did the 21 day fix and by the time we went on our honeymoon in March, I was about 7 lbs away from my pre-Crosby weight. Each night I'd come home, play with the kids, then work out (often with both kids so I could be done before Corey got home). Corey was my biggest support, and I'm SO thankful to have someone health conscious and excited about eating well. Corey has always been the chef, but when I told him I was committed to working out and losing the weight, he made EVERY meal I wanted, and often came up with his own ideas and frequently sent me to school with healthy left-overs for lunch. What a guy :) He would often take baby duty when he got home so I could work out in the basement with Gwen. I'll be honest, it would have been nice to have that 30 minutes alone, because apart from the 20 minute drive to and from school, I am NEVER alone (another teaching struggle for this introvert), but Gwen was SO excited to work out and loved to do the yoga and weight-lifting with me. She enjoyed it so much that I didn't have the heart to tell her that she couldn't come down. I eventually bought her a yoga mat of her own, because you know, sharing one does NOT work when your 5 year old has the body control of... well, a 5 year old. Most of the time she was GREAT. She would stay on her mat, try to work out, tell me what to do, etc. Sometimes she would try to crawl under me, sit on me, or ask me a billion questions in the middle of the hardest set... eventually we had to create a few rules: 1) Stay on your mat or on your trampoline. 2) Mom isn't going to talk because she's mad. 3) Mom isn't mad at you; she hates to work out. After setting those expectations, she was awesome. Anyway, I have never intentionally lost weight, so it was really gratifying. Unfortunately, I haven't kept up on working out, though I have kept the weight off. I'm still chalking it up to a win :) Winter was also a time of learning and succeeding in sleep training a new baby. Crosby had always been a pretty good sleeper; he came home from the hospital on a good 2.5-3 hour cycle of eating, waking, and sleeping. Breast feeding was really difficult, and I made it to a month (which really felt like a great success considering how painful it was), so by this time Crosby was used to his formula and was a great eater (as evidenced by his chubby cheeks, neck rolls, and wrist/ankle rolls). At 8 weeks old he was sleeping about 8 hours a night, would wake early to eat, and then would sleep again until I woke him in the morning. Somewhere around December or January, he started being more and more alert, so he'd wake up without needing to be fed, so I had to figure out a way to soothe him or teach him to soothe himself. Thankfully, we got him on a good schedule and went back to sleeping 10-12 hours a night.

The spring always brings hope and excitement as the school year comes close to ending. Winters are hard for so many reasons, and a lack of sun and light often leave me feeling sullen. For me, spring has always signified the end of one thing, and the beginning of something new. Last spring was no different. Thankfully, I had a great group of students that made going to work enjoyable, and Crosby and Gwen were so good and pleasant to be around. I'd wake up before dark, work hard all day, pick up the kids, come home and play, do laundry or clean, spend a little time with Corey, and go to bed exhausted, but grateful. The highlight of our spring had to be when Corey and I finally took our honeymoon. We went to Las Vegas, and it was AWESOME. Corey's dad and step-mom gave us their travel hotel points, so we stayed at an AMAZING hotel with a pool and hot tub (in the room). It was really hard to leave Crosby, and I cried almost every day, but he had a great time with Grandma Julia and Grandpa Pete. I hadn't spend a night away from Crosby yet, and although we knew he was in the BEST hands, I missed him so much. Anyway, if you've ever gone anywhere with Corey, you know that the trip is planned out before you even get there. He knew which places we were going to eat, where they were, and what time they open and closed. Seriously? I'm like, "Do I go left or right out of the terminal?" And he's like, "THIS GREAT TACO PLACE IS AROUND THE CORNER ABOUT 3.4 MILES. LET'S GO." We are very different, but I think that's why we work :) I like to go with the flow (although I'm still pretty planned and organized), and Corey likes to make the most of every. single. minute. I had envisioned this really relaxing break, where I could sleep in and do whatever I wanted. EEErrrrrt. That's not how Corey vacations. We were up super late each night, because... Las Vegas. THEN WE WERE UP BY 8:00 AM EVERY DAY. This is the man that I have to BEG to get out of bed each morning for work. He sets about 35 alarms and sleeps through 35 of them. But could he sleep in just a little bit in Las Vegas? -_- No. He ran me ragged, but I am grateful because I think we saw every inch of Las Vegas! Our favorite part was trying all the great food places, and seeing L'Eau. It was incredible and worth every penny. It was a water/acrobatic show where the performers swam and danced and ran (all the verbs) on this appearing and disappearing stage. When the stage disappeared under water, they were in the air doing incredible flips and feats of athleticism. All those things make you feel uber useless when you're sitting there indulging in your popcorn and beer. We had a wonderful time there, and I wouldn't have any other travel partner than Corey. While he's go, go go, he's the MOST fun person I know. Just don't expect him to hold onto his bus pass (too soon, Corey?). This trip happened due to all the wonderful kindness of our family: Pete and Julia for watching Crosby, Dave and Joni for hooking us up with a hotel, and my mom and Russ for giving us gift cards at Christmastime that we were able to use!

As summer came around, our house increased in busy-ness and dirt. All the dirt. Corey's cycling picked up, and Gwen and Crosby were constantly on the move. It was so much fun being able to create our own schedule and we took advantage of all Des Moines had to offer. Gwen took swim lessons and passed TWO levels. I couldn't believe how much she tried because she tends to be our timid kid, but she thrived and enjoyed swim lessons so much that we kept signing up until the end of the summer. Crosby was a blast to bring along because he smiled at everyone, ate his snacks, drank his water, and clapped when he saw Gwen. We also signed her up for Princess Dance Camp through Grace Ballet, and she LOVED it. It's what made us decide to sign her up for ballet and tap in the fall. Additionally, we went to several of Corey's bike races as a family, and enjoyed watching him race. Our favorite was Kansas City because we stayed in a hotel, swam in the pool, and even went to the zoo! This was one of Gwen's favorite events because she still talks about it today. One thing that we love about where we live is that there are so many young families with kids Gwen's age. Gwen often played for HOURS with our neighbors (especially her friend Kylah). It was a great change to have her run around with friends instead of needing me to help entertain her. Not to mention, Kylah and her brothers are the kindest, sweetest kids. It's always a bonus to have the kind of kids you WANT your child to have as friends around. Gwen started to get to know other friends through Kylah, and eventually made more friends that ended up going to her elementary school. We also went on a trip to Minnesota with Corey's dad, step-mom, brother Travis and sister-in law Julie (and Kenna), and some of Joni's family. We stayed in this super cute cabins, played on the beach, did some shopping, went to the turtle races, and had a relaxing time. Crosby, as always, was a trooper and stayed on schedule and was a happy, chubby guy. He especially liked Travis and smiled and waved at him whenever he saw him :) It was also a lot of fun for me to spend time with Julie! Later in the summer we did another vacation with Corey's mom and step-dad, brothers Brandon, Ross, and Ryan, and sister-in-laws Kaitlin and Audrey. We always go to Waterloo and camp in cute cabins and go to the Lost Island water park. We love spending time with family and are grateful for such fun traditions. While summer was relaxing and full of fun, it was also full of some struggle. Because Crosby still took a morning and afternoon nap, I felt like we couldn't do as much as we wanted and had to work around his schedule. Gwen also had somewhat of a rough summer; she got very clingy and felt like she needed to be with me all the time. So much so that we started to worry. Thankfully, we set up a game plan to figure out the root of the cause and have been seeing a lot of growth in those areas since then. I know that's vague, but that's all I'm really willing to offer. Regardless, for a variety of reasons it was draining, trying, and sometimes frustrating. We spent the rest of the summer going to little free libraries, seeing friends, and spending time as a family. The end of summer brought excitement as Gwen found out who her kindergarten teacher would be!

This fall had its own adjustments: Crosby started a new home for daycare (we love you, Michelle!), Gwen started kindergarten at Westwood, and I started my 7th year of teaching (still doing AP, but moved to teaching 12th grade instead of 10th). Corey kept on keepin' as GIS Coordinator :) Gwen is thriving in kindergarten and has grown immensely. She started off only knowing about 10 sight words (and we worked all summer to learn those), to suddenly reading everything in her path! At her fall conferences, she was right on grade level for reading, but now she's at the beginning of a 1st grade reading level. We are SO proud of her! She has made a lot of friends, is a good student and helper, and loves school. Gwen also started tap dance and ballet on Monday nights. I wasn't sure how it would go, but I'm so glad we signed her up. While she maybe isn't the most graceful, Gwen adores dance class and all her little friends. It's actually been a great release for me. I take her, and sit and chat with some of the other moms while she enjoys herself dancing. It's hard to really find time to spend with friends, especially during the school year, and this has allowed me to make some new friends. We love the ballet studio because it encourages modesty, technique, character, perseverance, and integrity. This June, Gwen and her classmates will be performing in their annual recital. This year the theme is The Chronicles of Narnia, and Gwen's class is part of Aslan's army (they're peacocks). We're so excited! Gwen is mostly excited to wear lipstick and make-up :) The kids also celebrated their 1st and 6th birthdays, and we had a slew of family and friends around us as we celebrated! Ariel even came to visit. Gwen and Crosby dressed as tacos for Halloween, and as always, got many compliments on their costumes (thanks, Grandma Julia).

This winter has been a blur--are we still mid-winter? We enjoyed a few Christmases with family already, and have a few more coming up! We saw my brother and his boys at my mom's for Christmas, which is always entertaining :) And we'll see both of Corey's sides in the next few weeks. We love seeing everyone and seeing the kids grow. Crosby has changed from a sweet baby, to a wild, goofy, sweet little boy. He started walking between Thanksgiving and Christmas and hasn't stopped since. He says many words: whoa, mom, dad, up, go-go, rawr, woof, meow, moo, neigh, oink... and a few others I'm sure I'm forgetting. He is obedient about 95% of the time and usually as a great attitude :) He sleeps 12-13 hours a night and takes a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. He loves fruit and carbs (he gets it from his mama), and does not like meat (unless, is hot a dog a meat...?). Gwen is his favorite playmate, and he spends hours reading books, rawr-ing, making animal noises, and wearing hats. That boy loves to play dress up!

Growing up, I had a vastly different perspective on what happiness looked like. I used to think things like a house, money, and a lucrative career were the things I needed to be happy. Now I realize that all I need to be happy is the people I love. Careers, homes, material items are fleeting, but "no man is a failure who has friends." We are grateful to be the richest people in this sense.